Dear Hardcovers and Hangovers,
A multitude of thanks goes to Susan for hosting a lovely summer evening poolside. We dined on delectable chicken, pilaf, asparagus and bread…fantastic! Thanks to Allison we were treated to cake in celebration of Charli’s birthday…yummy! We missed Ellen, but know she is enjoying time with children and grandchildren.
It was agreed that Susan’s book choice was a good one. Of course superlatives to describe Those Who Save Us don’t seem appropriate given its subject matter.
We jumped around discussing many aspects of the book.
Was Anna lucky or unlucky? Did she love Obersturfuhrer? Some thought so…but was it more of Stockholm Syndrome where the victim thinks s/he love their capturer. Certainly Anna benefited from Obsersturfuhrer’s attention in terms of gifts and food, but bottom line the man was a disturbed, abusive, murderer and rapist. And why, oh, why does she not tell Trudy (or Jack) about the past? Yes, Anna’s spirit was broken and obviously never felt she could forgive herself. She repeatedly demanded that “the past is dead, and better it remain so”. Yes, women of that time remained silent and took their secrets to the grave. However, I just don’t get how a mother who obviously lives with so much shame could allow her daughter to carry her own shame (regarding her belief that she was the daughter of a Nazi).
Anna and Trudy’s relationship was a source of discomfort and anger for some. Marrie really struggled with Trudy putting Anna in the nursing home and selling the family house and finding nothing of emotional value (other than the photo) to take with her.
Amy felt that the relationship died between the two the day Jack passed. We did feel so sad for Anna when no one came the funeral. This of course came as no surprise given that the community failed to embrace Anna as one of their own. Karin mentioned the time the Jack took Anna and Trudy to church and no one eat Anna’s strudel. Amy wanted to reach in and take a bit.
Trudy and Rainer’s relationship was an interesting one of love and hate. Their initial meeting was one of such loathing it was a surprise that they developed an intimate relationship. So what drew them together and what broke them apart? Both Trudy and Rainer share shame, however, for Rainer his guilt so deep he would never allow himself happiness; always believing he was responsible for the death of another (brother). For Trudy, once she learned her father was not a Nazi, she now could move on and become happy. For Rainer (and Anna too) survivors guilt was preventing them from any type of happiness.
Marrie had to really lash out at Max and his inability to use protection. Use a condom for cry in out loud! I realize that the book was written from the German point of view and the story was not Max’s, but I felt his character got lost.
This book was full of title/theme connections; Max and Anna, Anna and Max, Matilde and Anna, Anna and Trudie, Obersturfuherer and Anna, Jack and Anna, Jack and Trudie, Rainer and Trudy, Trudy and Rainer….“Come to love those who save us or rather who shame us.”
Next up we move to Karin’s house to discuss the memoir of Andre Dubus, Townie. Looking forward to seeing you all next month.
Until then, happy reading.
Jenn
